The transition into motherhood has brought all sorts of new delights and challenges into my life, as I’m sure it has for you. At first, I wrestled with what the right amount of work/Mom balance was. As an event planner, I had a certain amount of control over my schedule, however, I quickly exhausted myself in trying to do it all.
The problem was that I was seeking grandparent/sitter help to cover my “work time,” which, while fulfilling to a degree, was leaving me without any real “breaks!” I was either on as a Mom at home or on as an event planner outside the home but never just getting a breather. I dreamt of putting on clothing, carrying on with adult conversation and having lunch breaks at a full-time career. But then there were the perks of never missing a milestone or precious moment of crawling down the hall after my babycakes at home, (watching Dr Phil in the background – let’s be honest) and being the one to truly raise our son. I don’t need to delve too far into the minuses of each scenario – we all know that commuting, dealing with bad bosses, deadlines and high heels can be a real headache; Managing a straight 14 hours of diapers, teething and entertainment for toddlers while having hair pulled and shirt after shirt spit up on has its downsides too.
I have lots of friends on both ends of the spectrum – some are in high powered, high paying careers while others are enjoying the fruits of raising their families, full-time. Some had full-time careers before becoming Moms, while others had jobs that they didn’t love to begin with. The common thread for all of us seems to be that the grass is always greener on the other side; Everyone who works full-time wishes they had more time at home; Everyone who is at home would love the perfect part-time job. I don’t think that the perfect middle ground exists, ladies! One thing God is working on teaching me right now is to live in the present and to appreciate where I am right this instant. I believe that a relationship with Him is one of the only things that will pull us through life and give us the energy and motivation required to be good Moms. I’ll touch more on this in a sec-
Call me a traditionalist, but my husband’s career is our bread & butter; Where he was definitely filling in with daddy duty as he was able, we were both hitting the sack completely exhausted as I tried to be the woman that we fought so hard to be…the go-getter at work, the friend, the coach, the Mom, the wife…you know the role. I believe that the right role looks different for every woman and that the ones we choose aren’t necessarily the “easiest,” rather, but what is best for our families. And then, for most, there isn’t a choice. We are dealt the cards that we are dealt and we will raise the next generation to be the best that they can be with the time that we have with them. For me, this has meant minimizing my work schedule and staying home. Am I excited to get back to the working world some day? Absolutely. But for now, I am trading in most of my event planning clipboard for laundry detergent and puffs…and I feel darn lucky to do so.
So where does God fit into our craziness? Being home with one child has actually meant more dependence on God for me than ever before; I have found this time to be the loneliest of my life, therefore my dependence on Him has been amplified like crazy. As a result, I’ve tried to make time for a quick devotion, at the very least, every day. I like “Jesus Calling” (there’s a book and an app-I’m on my third year of re-reading it and I’m here to tell you, it always applies to the exact situation we’re in); My sister- in-law also recommended “My Utmost for his Highest” by Oswald Chambers. Adding my favorite Christian radio station playing during the day and church, weekly, has helped substantially as well.
Joyce Meyers makes several solemn promises in her book, “The Confident Mom,”which I highly recommend. She states explicitly that:
-Having regular fellowship and time with God is the most important thing you should do for yourself (she even encourages Moms to hire a babysitter for a few hours a week in order to spend this time with God if need be), P. 186.
-The busier we are and the more responsibility we have, the more time we need with Him, P. 187.
-We all need daily time with God to fulfill His plan for our lives. Without it we cannot be the mom, the wife, or the person He has called us to be, P 189.
Now, I have been told that with two children, all of this goes out the window. I am actively collecting God time and grace, in preparation for that coming time of chaos. And even then, we must remind ourselves that “this too, shall pass” and that there will come a day when we will miss the diapers, the crying, the craziness. I love hearing how other Moms manage their faith walks from those who read a little each day, like me, to the ones who are working full time and still going on mission trips and leading small groups – what are you doing to keep in touch with God? Would love to hear from you. Prayers to you and your family as we raise amazing kiddos, in Him who makes all things possible.
awesome post! feel the same way, as I am a stay at home mom of a 3 month old and sometimes I would give anything to go back to work!! But God is helping me accept where I am now so I can focus on being a good Christian mom to my son 🙂
Awesome attitude Caterina. I learned some of the most important/most powerful/most impactful lessons about God and I when my first born was under a year old. Use the time to grow and read and pray!!
Thank you!!! 💕
Really enjoyed your post! I am mom to 2 boys, a 15 month old and a 2.5 year old. My older is at play school but younger one at home. I work ‘part time’ as a GP and am trying to blog and write more. At the moment though I am losing the battle of balance and fighting to win is destroying me.
Totally understand. I feel like the timeframe of kids being so small is so temporary and everyone says it flies by but when you’re in it, some days can seem long! Finding the balance that works for YOU, whatever that may be, is key. For me, a babysitter while I work or even while I take my oldest out for a date just he and I, has been so helpful! Hang in there!
Thanks so much. I live in South Africa and have the most amazing helper so she watches my little one when I go to work. It is still tough finding balance but I found it encouraging that it seems to be something lots of women struggle with.